The Note That Sticks
by Nym13
Summary: Dr. Caitlin Snow, a well-known geneticist and heiress to the STAR Labs Pharmaceuticals gets a new PA, Barry Allen, a relatively simple guy but a specimen she can't seem to figure out. Maybe she should just sit back drink a nice cup of coffee and smile!


**AN:** I found this story idea on tumblr and since AUs are my thing (I find it difficult to write with canon things), I decided to share it with you my fellow Snowbarry shippers.

 **Summary:** Dr. Caitlin Snow, a well-known geneticist and heiress to the STAR Labs Pharmaceuticals gets a new PA, Barry Allen, a relatively simple guy but a specimen she can't seem to figure out.

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The Note That Sticks

by: Nym13

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1.

Her mum tells her to get a personal assistant, to make her life easier and actually maybe even get one. Catherine argues that, "… there's something seriously wrong when a mother calls her daughter and is greeted by _'Hello, Dr. Snow speaking'_."

Caitlin just hates it when her mum meddles with how she does things and presses her about getting a life. At times she acts nonchalant but it bothers her when other people comment about her lack of social skills.

Caitlin sighs, "Fine. But I'm far too busy to do the interviews right now, could you-"

"Oh, honey...I thought you'd never ask! Leave it to me."

8.

When Caitlin first met Barry Allen there was just something about him that made her at ease, maybe it was because he seemed so familiar. Graduating from the same university must have made him one of those faces she had passed by along the campus hallways, and ignored.

It must be her subconscious reminding her of him.

Barry Allen is indeed all those things her mum told her of, but he too was also constantly late for work. Still, he never failed to bring her coffee just when she needed it and for Caitlin, that was enough.

Truly, she wasn't so picky. At least coffee was one thing she was less worried about.

30.

 _'Smile'_

It's the twenty-first note she's received from her new personal assistant. It was written in that same stroke of a deft hand she's slowly growing accustomed to. Much like the first time she still found the one worded note plastered on her morning coffee cup.

At first she thought he was trying to suck up to her, and knew he'd eventually stop when he noticed she really couldn't care less about anything than the boost the caffein provided at eight in the morning. This day though her interest was piqued and she became curious as to why he constantly did it.

"Barry," She calls him through the intercom.

 _"Yes, Dr. Snow?"_ He replies and she second-guesses herself if she would seem less professional if she asked him a personal question.

"What's this note on my cup?"

 _"It's for you ma'am."_

He's left her feeling gobsmacked. Really, it wasn't the words he's said that made her flustered. It was the way he said them with such unguarded honesty that oozed through the telephone line.

"Why?"

 _"Because you need more than a cup of coffee to start your day Dr. Snow."_

Caitlin ends the call and she's left feeling perplexed by his words.

Caitlin wonders if she should fire him for sounding so presumptuous, but decides against it because really she isn't the vindictive type. Besides, other than her mum only Barry knew how she liked her coffee. Maybe he was just being nice?

God! It must be her hormones upheaved by caffein.

38.

"Caitlin Snow is that you?" Caitlin had just finished a meeting with their new investors to help raise funds for a particle accelerator research by Dr. Wells and has sent Barry to see to it that they leave the hotel conference room in safety and convenience _(less they change their minds about investing)._

Caitlin had just gathered her things when she bumped into Abigail Lotz ; daughter of her parents' friends. Abigail was the girl she was forced to have play dates with and go to the same schools until college when the two of them decided on different universities.

Abigail was a beauty with the most gorgeous physique, whose genes would fetch a handsome price if procured and bottled; Caitlin should know, she's a geneticist. But Abigail was also the girl who never ceases to get on Caitlin's nerves.

It turns out that Abigail was getting married to some Chinese business tycoon. The wedding would be held at a private island with a seaside villa and she's inviting all the important guests. Abigail even told Caitlin she wanted to invite her but won't because of one superficial belief Caitlin knows is utter rubbish.

"I wanted to invite you Caitlin, we are the best of friends. But I knew you just broke up with your boyfriend and all of our other friends are either married or going with someone and since you won't I'd rather spare you the embarrassment of going stag. It's bad luck for the Chinese you know to have an unhappy lady at a wedding." Caitlin was more than happy to not be invited but the girl was absolutely brilliant at getting a vexing her too. If she doesn't leave soon Caitlin might not be able to keep up her pleasant facade and end up strangling her.

Caitlin spots Barry and calls him over. He rushes towards her in haste, his suit scrunching up a little in his strides. Caitlin asked Barry about their investors as soon as he arrived mindful that she appear as busy as she was; that she's able to give an impression to Abigail that even if she was invited she wouldn't have had the time. Barry gave her a wink.

"Don't worry Dr. Snow, you were perfect awhile ago, even heavy traffic won't land them in a bad mood. Coffee?" Barry reassures her as he presents her with his customary coffee with his signature sticky note.

"Cinnamon?" she asks and he smiles.

"Of course, I added an extra spoon of caramel too. I knew you needed it," Barry replies and for the first time, she actually did what the note said and returned Barry's smile. It was that one exchange that led to Abigail believing that Barry was Caitlin's new boyfriend.

"Oh my God! Caitlin you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend. I'm surprised you never seemed that into relationships or even girlfriend material. You actually managed to snag another one and he seems so sweet. Really Caitlin, I never thought you had it in you, you always seemed destined to be a spinster. Did you know she was always so uptight? How do you put up with her?" Maybe it was recalling all those moments that she kept num even as Abigail insulted her intelligence, her lack of social skills and the times she was always picked last when choosing teams.

Maybe it was all that anger she suppressed, acting civil for their parents' sakes that finally broke Caitlin's resolve. She has had it with Abigail trying to put her down and make her feel like she was less of a woman for not being one of those girls, girls that are fashionable, fun, and pretty.

Caitlin gritted out, "This is Barry Allen, and yes he is my boyfriend." Barry had choked on that proclamation.

Caitlin grabbed his arm hoping that he'll just go with it. Abigail asked Barry how it feels like to be Caitlin Snow's new arm candy and if they're willing to come to her wedding.

"It hardly feels real at times," He says honestly and Caitlin pinches his arm. Barry flinches a little but then he looks at Caitlin, his eyes boring into hers and for the first time Caitlin feels the heat of his gaze thinking that it might just be enough to melt the coldness in hers.

"But I'm grateful, because I always thought being with Caitlin Snow was just going to be a dream of mine."

"I thought that just standing beside her would be enough. Everyday spent with her makes the impossible seem possible." Barry gives her one quick smile before looking at Abigail, "Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials, I don't know if we can make it because Caitlin's got a busy schedule." And Caitlin feels all the more grateful that Barry was there to help her escape the hole she dug herself in.

Hopefully, she won't see Abigail for awhile and explain how they broke up.

"Nonsense, I'll tell your mother about it. Besides, I always wanted you to be my maid of honour and now that you have a boyfriend I guess it wouldn't be bad luck for you to come."

For the first time in a long while Caitlin felt like the biggest idiot.

Two days later her mother phones her about Abigail and not being the best liar Caitlin had told her the truth. It was decided that she was going to the wedding as Abigail's maid of honour. Caitlin supposes it was only fair that she pay a dear price for her mistake.

She just wished she didn't have to drag Barry into it.

Or that she was honestly grateful that she did.

0.62

She leaves tomorrow, at least that's what her plane ticket says, so she's cramming, getting two weeks worth of work done before she boards an afternoon flight. God, she hasn't even packed her bags yet!

Caitlin yawns, she really could use that coffee. She's about to punch through the intercom dial when her clock catches her eye; it was three in the morning. Barry would have left by now. She's been taking far too many liberties with him recently, it didn't matter if she was his boss, she feels like she's owed him far too much already. What he was doing for her was beyond his job description.

As soon as Caitlin opened her door she thought that she didn't need the caffein to stay up anymore. That or she's already dreaming because there was no way Barry Allen would still be at her office, leaning against his seat and visibly snoozing. Caitlin tentatively approached him. The soft clicking of her heels was loud in the stillness of the air and it alerted Barry to her presence. He shook awake.

She asks him why he wasn't home yet, and he replies with his usual cheeky tone, saying it wouldn't feel right for him to leave while she was still working. He even jokingly adds that she might fire him if she doesn't get her customary morning coffee just because she's pulled out an all nighter. So he decided to camp out too.

Caitlin knows he was being conscientious and really she shouldn't read too much into his concern, but honestly, she was touched, last time she felt this important was during her senior year in high school when a stranger showed concern for her, though she didn't know who he was.

"Coffee, Dr. Snow?"

"Yes please, don't forget the cinnamon-"

"Caramel and little mint leaves right?"

"Yes. And Barry?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"I'll join you."

Barry Allen gave her a smile and that's when Caitlin realised she liked to draw out the act from him too.

63.

Caitlin didn't want to admit it, but there was something about Barry Allen that just made her notice him. He made her both anxious and relaxed, and she didn't know why.

Sometimes even his sense of humour was familiar and relatable and maybe that's why she finds herself being drawn to him.

Thinking about it now she wants to kick herself why she felt the need to figure him out. Really, it would have been less complicated if she just left him alone.

If she had, then they wouldn't have to be here wondering who gets to sleep on the damn queen-sized bed.

"Really, you should sleep on it that way I'll sleep with a better conscience."

Barry smirks at her, "It's okay Dr. Snow. I wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I let a lady sleep on a couch now would I?"

"I insist you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. You can't sleep on the couch."

But Barry Allen was stubborn and had placed himself dutifully on the coveted couch reasoning that at the end of the day he was her personal assistant and it was his job to see to it that she be as comfortable as was possible.

It really shouldn't bother Caitlin but she wished...she wishes that reasoning didn't sound so impersonal.

If she was being honest, she'd like to think he sees her as more than his employer, just like she sees him as an almost friend.

Seriously, she should just sleep on it!

Still she hopes there was a cure to this feeling of not being able to understand her own emotions. Because honestly, having a P.A. just made her too damn dependent on other people.

64.

It was the first time Caitlin saw the beauty of the island.

The seaside villa was complete with Italian inspired designs, but at the same time gave off a quaint homey feel.

It was a beautiful wedding venue, especially since Abigail had wanted a wedding just before sunset. Caitlin couldn't help but agree with the girl's tastes. Granted, she never pegged Abigail as the private wedding-type. That was until she saw her gown.

It was a big joke!

It was a horrendous shade of pink, and she never did wear pink. To Caitlin the fake red roses train just made it look cheap. She feels like she's wearing a drag queen's costume and wondered what unpleasantness she did to Abigail for the girl's constant torture of her. Abigail even had the audacity to take her picture and gushed that the pink complimented her skin tone. God, she wanted to puke!

Barry was there with her and Caitlin often catches him laughing to himself in her plight from the dressing room up to the rehearsals and she'd glare at him.

Still, that didn't stop him from sniggering to himself and even though Caitlin noticed, she didn't have the energy to rebuke him.

When lunch came they had no choice but be stuck together, and of course Caitlin had complained to Barry as she angrily tore pieces of her croissant. Unfortunately, she'd have an affinity for sweets whenever she was under a lot of stress and pressure. Barry fetched her a cup of black coffee because seriously she didn't need another spoonful of sugar.

"I swear that dress, perfectly sums up how we feel about each other." She tells him and Barry laughs.

"I think you looked great in it!"

"Nobody would look good in it." and you were laughing, she adds quietly to herself.

"Dr. Snow, I think you would know you're not just a nobody." The line seemed as cheesy as those paperback romance novels her mum kept at her private library, but still her stomach felt like it was performing somersaults. She's not the giddy type, but when she is, she's giddy about the simplest things.

Maybe it's her body reacting to the sugar.

"You'd say that to me because I'm your boss."

Barry shakes his head before pushing the coffee towards her; the customary single worded note stuck to the cup, "Smile, Dr. Snow," Barry tells her with a grin.

Whatever magic that word has it seems potent. Ever since that first smile she gave him it wouldn't take much to draw out a smile from her.

All she needed was a cup of coffee and Barry Allen's infectious grin and she's bewitched.

Evening came and the group was split into two due to the customary bachelor and bachelorette parties. Caitlin shooed Barry off with the guys and wished him a good time for the both of them. Caitlin hoped he'll have fun since she already knows she won't.

Caitlin brought her generic gift; jewellery. She knows Abigail had always been a sucker for anything that glitters.

Indeed the night has been about Abigail, her sweetness, her memories and accomplishments.

Caitlin can't complain about that, she even expected it. What Caitlin didn't expect was being caught in their game. Abigail brought up the fact that she's never had a serious boyfriend before, and chase away 'hot' Ronnie Raymond. She really didn't mind at first, she tried to play it by ear and just roll with it, until one of them commented that she knew Barry Allen, one even asked if it was true that he was her personal assistant.

"Maybe he's the first guy that showed a genuine interest on her? I mean he does seem like a sweet boy, but you know he's just a boy not really a man. Or maybe that's Caitlin's new type." Caitlin smiles and chugs down more liquor as she listens to their judgements, stared at their hypocritical smiles and their faux sympathies to her apparent pathetic-ness.

Yes, it's true it's hard to find a guy who can tolerate a shrew like her. Who would be able to stand her when she goes into her scientific lecture modes, and geek out with her when she's infected by the science bug. Who'll be able to put up with her control freak nature and not feel suffocated in such encumbered environment?

It's hard to find a man who can tolerate her constant nagging, find a man who'll genuinely see passed her titles and decorated family background. Maybe she'll never have that unconditional love.

So what's it matter if she pours herself another pint?

That maybe the reason why she made that half-assed drunk remark. And boy, did she say something!

"All you snobby bitches care about is marrying a guy from the same family background because you're afraid of breaking free from your respective comfort zones. You cover your faces with layers of makeup and fill your closets with superficial material things like diamonds which by the way you should realise is just pressurised coal, for it makes you forget about your insecurities and the fact that you are empty. But I'm not like you," She says as she shakes her head and laughs, "I'm the stuck-up bitches whose a doctor, who works twenty-four seven because that's how I fill up my void. I have no time for relationships and maybe that's why I date my assistant. But I trust him, and when I'm with him there is no fear." Then Caitlin laughs while they looked at her like she was way too drunk, and yeah, maybe she is.

"Drunk Caitlin needs to pee. I have to go before I start singing." Caitlin announces as she pushes herself up and stumbles slightly as she leaves, "If I'm not back...don't look for me, and enjoy your party!"

But Caitlin doesn't go to the loo, no, she headed straight to the doorway, a stream of unshed tears pooling in her eyes. She's greeted by the cool night wind that wiped away some of her intoxication and Caitlin laughs.

She laughs because she seriously can't believe she managed to cuss in public and insulted a group of elitists. She's never done those before. But dear God was it bloody liberating!

"Looks like you're having fun." She chokes on her laughter when she hears Barry Allen's voice.

"Barry what are you-" She doesn't get to finish her sentence because suddenly she's retching out and pouring the contents of her stomach on a bloody street pavement and Barry rushes towards her and pulls her hair back.

Caitlin felt embarrassed but she couldn't stop vomiting, she absently wonders if some of her dignity was muddled in her puke and how she was going to get it back.

Barry hands her a clean handkerchief when she's done and she gratefully accepts it, she questions his being there.

"I thought it was better if I'd stick with you, since you might need me. I guess I was right." Barry tells her.

"Remind me never to fire you."

Barry grins, "I'd offer to get you a drink, but it looks like you've had too much. Let me get you back to our cottage instead." Barry drapes his suit over her shoulders and together they board a cab.

"A cup of coffee would be nice." Caitlin tells him on the ride, her lids falling due to exhaustion, she didn't even know then that her head was resting on his shoulder. Frankly, she didn't even care.

"Dully noted, Dr. Snow." Barry remarks and Caitlin closes her eyes, "Don't forget that sticky note, it kinda stuck on me." She murmurs and that's the last thought she has before she fell asleep.

She's gained one of those peaceful sleeps that made the hangovers feel almost worth it. Almost.

Truth was, it was having Barry Allen care for her that did.

65.1

Caitlin woke up at ten in the morning and Barry had to use soft voices to communicate with her. She had no appetite and the only sustenance she got were from the bitter black coffee Barry made for her and the bottled water she had to carry.

God she hated the hangover, furthermore she didn't know if she still had a face to show to Abigail nor to the other girls she insulted.

Caitlin thought it was almost comical to have the maid of honour wait outside the bride's door. At least to her comical was a euphemism to 'never-before-in-history'.

She supposes she deserved it, at least Barry was there sitting on the bench beside her. Still had this splitting headache that just won't go!

"If you really feel bad, maybe you should just apologise." Barry tells her and she stares at him quite surprised. How did he know she was feeling guilty? She tells him that apologising won't make it better. Barry reasons that though that is true, she would have one less thing weighing in on her conscience.

They sit in near silence for almost an hour and all Caitlin could think of was how effectively she was wasting her time, waiting for the clock to strike four was boring.

She should be at work looking for new medical advances that would help people and not wait on a snobbish bride.

The doors opened, Barry and Caitlin instantly stood up. The bridesmaids poured out of the room, upturned noses at her. Caitlin felt like sinking to the ground, but then one of them tells her that Abigail was looking for her.

The declaration stuns her and it seemed even the other bridesmaids couldn't believe the absurdity of that request. But Caitlin was never a quitter so she steps forward and heads towards the room her chin up, though her knees felt like they were going to give. She almost hesitates at the door, but as she looked back and saw Barry's encouraging smile it was enough to give her strength. Caitlin Snow didn't fly all the way here and gave up three days of work just to be defeated.

 _'Click'._

The room was in a chaotic mess that was almost artistic.

Looking inside the haphazard room of grand frivolities, it was almost picturesque, but sad like those morbid works of art that always evoked perturbation to all its onlookers, of cigarettes weaved between rose petals; this Caitlin thought.

Caitlin finds Abigail on the bed, a few tears cascading against her cheeks and her veil sits beside her. Caitlin thinks to herself how rightly out of place she is, but she was doctor...she should be an expert on comforting people.

Caitlin squats beside Abigail and drops her hand on top of hers in what Caitlin supposes was an awkward attempt in translating sympathy, Abigail looks at her with a sad smile.

Somehow Caitlin knew that there was a reason she was the maid of honour.

"Would you like a cup of coffee or do you still like to drink those hot cocos with little marshmallows?" and Abigail laughs.

65.2

Ever since she's come out of Abigail's room, marched down the ivory aisle and even here at the reception, Caitlin couldn't help but come into conclusion that Barry constantly staring at her hasn't been a fluke nor a trick of her imagination.

He was being deliberate, he didn't try to pretend he was hiding it. This scrutiny of his have turned her into a self conscious worry wart wondering about the most silliest of details like if Barry counted how many freckles were scattered on her nose.

Since he was looking she finds herself averting his gaze, which is just as juvenile of her to do.

Caitlin questions Barry about it. He asked if she'd like to go on a walk instead. Wondering at his peculiarity, Caitlin agrees and he reaches for her hand.

Her low heels felt heavy as they sink into the sand, so Caitlin starts to unstrap them. Then Barry did the unthinkable and bends down to help her remove her shoes. He takes her sandals dangles the pair between his fingers while his free hand securely grasps hers.

All Caitlin could think of was that chivalry was the biggest turn on and why anyone would think being chivalrous made them less of a man?

Barry asks about Abigail, why after an hour of staying behind closed doors the two emerged like they were the best of friends.

Caitlin doesn't know why, but talking to Barry about her feelings seemed so natural, being a guarded person that she is, it's remarkable feat.

She tells him her most kept secret, a secret that was both sweet and painful; the kind that brought her nostalgia, regret and hope. It's the romantic part of her that she kept burying down with her shovel called logic.

A memory she remembers with a certain fond embarrassment she best recalls when she's alone.

"During my senior year in high school I started receiving these little notes I'd find in my locker. The notes never had a post script nor of a scribbled pseudonym that ended the message, but you know what kind of notes I'm talking about don't you?" Caitlin asks him and Barry quietly smiles to himself, "I could guess," and Caitlin went on to tell him about those secret admirer notes she received.

Abigail envied her for getting them. She brought the subject up when Caitlin was in her room. Caitlin was so surprised because Abigail had always referred to her secret admirer as her stalker.

"I bet you've received those kind of letters loads of times, what made those any different?" Caitlin stared at Barry and laughed, "I don't think you'd know me then Mr. Allen."

Yes, he was the only admirer she had. She didn't view him as a stalker because some of his notes weren't cheesy. Sometimes they were words of encouragement that were appropriately timed when she was studying for a science competition. Or funny when she needed a laugh, or at least it was funny to her because his jokes and anecdotes were usually science related, and science has always been a subject she was good at, "You can say we had chemistry." Caitlin tells Barry and they shared a laugh.

Abigail thought that her secret admirer was being genuine, that's what she confessed to Caitlin. After Caitlin's outburst the previous day it just struck a chord and reminded Abigail of her own insecurities.

Since Abigail was a child all everyone ever saw of her was that she was pretty, and pretty rich. She didn't have many accomplishments, and growing up she envied those gold medals that Caitlin often sported. It caused her to become bitter about Caitlin and she tried to compete with her in an area she thought she was only good at.

Caitlin didn't have many friends and Abigail had a plethora of them, or to the world it seemed. Sometimes Abigail wondered if any of them were real. Then Caitlin received those love letters and Abigail felt that Caitlin had won something valuable over her again.

Caitlin was a master of closing off, seeming broody and snobbish. She didn't even try to please people and seemed content being herself. Caitlin didn't try to buy people with her money and was one of the most frugal person Abigail knew. Still, she managed to draw people towards her. She just had this inherent beauty that transcended the superficial norms of society.

Though many Abigail's dalliances had been, there was nothing there. She wasn't as stupid as people perceived. She saw every ill-intent, spotted half-meant promises and heard every sweet lie. Abigail felt like she was collecting all that was fake, all that would fade like paper towns but if she looses them, what would she have? That's how she had always filled her void.

Seeing Caitlin's strength despite people's recourse and judgements just made her feel badly about the decisions she's made and wondered if this was another mistake she'd regret. Would she forever live her life this way? Playing pretend and wearing glittering masks and gold chains. Did her fiancé truly love her and didn't just see the girl with the pretty face and the hefty bank account.

Caitlin had told Abigail that she had always envied Abigail's confidence; the way she moved with such grace and how charming she could be. Though Abigail had lived in a world of illusions Caitlin is sure she would find things that are real, and if she's willing she could always start over. It's never too late, she just has to believe in herself that she's worth more than her looks and her jewels, if she want to, Caitlin would be there for her. She jus has to be open to change.

For now, she should have no fear.

Barry gives Caitlin a smile as she told her story and asked if she ever found out who her secret admirer was. Caitlin told Barry that she never did. During that time she didn't want to, she feared that if she did, it would change things. And Caitlin asks him if he's ever regretted anything in his life and Barry shakes his head, claiming that things happen for a reason.

"Then again, there's Murphy's Law." Caitlin points out.

"And when things go wrong you'll always have your cup of coffee to make you feel better."

Caitlin smiles, telling herself that yes Barry will always bring her coffee. Until sooner or later he stops.

And she might not be ready for that change.

70.

She knows she should not have eavesdropped but ever since she and Barry came back from the trip she's become far too aware of his presence. Sometimes she thinks she even hears each intake of breath when he places her coffee on her desk and smell his cologne and aftershave.

Really, she wasn't stalking him she just happened to round up the corner and heard her name being spoken by Cisco, "I just don't get it Bar, why do you keep doing it? Heck you can replace it with an emoticon."

Cisco asks and Barry sighs, "I don't know, I just think that it's a word that's bound to stick."

"And if it doesn't?"

Barry smiles softly then replies, "Then it doesn't."

That conversation three days ago was what prompted her to hold on more to those one worded notes. Barry was hiding something from her, she just didn't know what.

 _'Smile'_

She stares at the word and frowns.

What is he really telling her?

75.

Caitlin's mum noticed her collection of different coloured post-its plastered on her planner; the word smile written on them. Catherine asked why she kept those post-its and Caitlin made the mistake of spilling out that it was from Barry. Her mother gave her a questioning look and so Caitlin had no choice but to explain her sudden fascination and determination to decode the monosyllabic word she constantly receives.

Catherine had then asked if Barry was growing on her, if somehow she's begun liking him more than platonically. Caitlin denies of course, but her mum just laughed at her.

"I don't know honey. I would have believed that you're not, because Barry isn't your type." Catherine tells Caitlin that her type had always been someone like Ronnie, tall brawny pretty boys, and Barry just didn't fit that criteria, but maybe she forgot the one thing that her daughter was really a sucker for.

"Barry makes you smile, and maybe that's why you've started falling,"

All Caitlin could do was pretend to disagree and act nonchalant.

And really, that's all she's been doing, pretend and act like he doesn't matter, because now he truly does.

"Your high school reunion is coming up soon. Being the class valedictorian your school has invited you to make a speech, " Catherine tells her, "...maybe you should invite Barry?"

85.

She shifts the resignation letter in her hands.

Caitlin has half the mind to throw it at a nearby trash or at him.

 _Why_ , she want to ask him so badly, instead she bites on her lower lips and knits her brows, hiding both hands bellow her desk. She feels her fingers vibrating against her knees. She curls it in, nails digging into her palms, drawing out blood. How appropriate, she's always been good at those.

"As you know Mr. Allen it is STAR Labs policy that you give us at least fifteen days to find a replacement for you." Caitlin tells him and Barry averts her gaze and sighs.

"Yes Dr. Snow, I am aware of that."

"If that would be all, you can go back to work now."

"Caitlin I-"

"Dr. Snow!" her loud voice startles her, "It's Dr. Snow." she repeats.

Barry takes a step back and quietly mutters, "I know," and then leaves.

Caitlin gazes at the coffee cup, that sly word sticking out, and she tucks her chin in and whisper to herself, "I can't."

99.

Turns out all this time Barry's been working for the C.C.P.D. since he graduated. He resigned just three months ago to work for her. So why did he worked for Her?

Caitlin sent a private investigator to look into it.

She discovered that reason why he resigned from the C.C.P.D. was because he took the job in S.C.P.D. as the replacement for their Head Forensic Analyst who was retiring. Barry could have chosen to continue working for the C.C.P.D. those three months, but he didn't.

They also went to the same schools going all the way back to her elementary days, but that hardly matters, it just made her wonder how she's never met him. Maybe it's because he was two years younger than her?

Her phone beeped; the Human Resources department called in to tell her that Barry refused to take his final pay and has been refusing his pays before that.

All Caitlin could do was stare at the post-it's he's left her with, wondering if the word still meant something now that he was gone.

100.

She's wearing a teal coloured gown, her designer tells her it's the new trend and everyone would be looking at her when she makes that speech at the ball themed reunion of theirs that Abigail organised. Frankly, Caitlin couldn't care less of what she's wearing all she knows is that she isn't trying to impress any of these people. Well...maybe one. _If she knew who he was._

She feels the papers in her hands as she begun rehearsing her speech. Caitlin's not sure what she should say when she's not particularly thrilled to be back to the place she has desperately wanted to escape from for four years of her life.

Her hands shake and she opens her purse to busy them and plucks out the letter she last received from him; her secret admirer. She rereads the letter and she can't help but feel it isn't doing the trick of calming her anymore. So she reaches into the secret compartment and fishes out one of Barry's sticky notes.

It does its magic.

She's being called now and she sticks the note on top her speech.

Caitlin smiles to the crowd and they clapped at her as she settles on the podium. The lights flashed before her eyes and she bends her head down to read her first words, but then she's frozen.

 _'Smile'_

God, how could she have been so stupid!

For the first time Caitlin thinks she may have left a pretty picture of her for her school paper; an image of her fleeing the scene.

She seriously hopes she looked good because she paid quite a pretty penny for a dress she can't wait to get out of.

101.

She approaches the desk, her hands shaking as she folds her brown trench coat between her arms. She just arrived in Starling City, and her first destination after dismounting the train was towards the police station. She's tried calling Barry, but decided this wasn't something she could do or say over the phone.

"Is Mr. Bartholomew Allen here?" She queries and the police officer asks for her name and business.

"Dr. Caitlin Snow, Barry's..." she's about to say boss, but then catches herself, "...Barry's personal physician." She lies.

"Alright, if you'd just wait a moment Dr. Snow," the officer tells her and Caitlin nods. She takes a seat at the benches, and notes that her heartbeat was fast. She felt like she was at the brink of having a panic attack and tried to calm herself. Maybe she should have eaten something first?

She hears Barry say her name and feels like her heart might just have stopped beating altogether. His green eyes stare at hers in surprise and she stands from her seat stumbling a little on her heels. She bites her lower lips, "Can we talk, privately?" She asks and he nods.

He leads her to the back of the precinct near the stacks of old boxes and trash; of old things being thrown out. How appropriate, Caitlin wryly thinks.

"You...didn't take your money." Caitlin blurts out.

Barry smiles forlornly, "I wasn't there for it."

"Then why?" Caitlin prompts, "Why were you there?" but Barry doesn't answer. Caitlin lets out a frustrated sigh, her eyes filling up with unshed tears, "Do you have anything you want to say to me?" She presses on and for a moment Barry was quiet but then shakes his head. _No_ , he tells her and Caitlin nods.

He doesn't want to admit it, she thinks. Why? Was she wrong? What if she was?

Caitlin hands him the envelope before she looses her nerve.

"Take this." Barry was about to refuse it when Caitlin says to him, "Take it, open it, it's yours. I just thought that you should have what was yours before I let you go." Not waiting for her first tear to fall, Caitlin spins on her heels and begins to walk away, but not before one last say, "I didn't want you to go Barry," and she runs.

She stubbornly wipes at her eyes. She hopes Barry opened the envelop and found the letter she pressed between checks addressed to him. But maybe a part of her was hoping he doesn't incase she was wrong.

She finds herself at the sidewalk desperately holding back tears but failing miserably. She raises her arm to hail a cab.

A cab stops in front of her, she was about to board it when a hand slams the door shut. She stares angrily at the person, but as she sees Barry's panting face, all she could do was look surprise.

The cab driver starts honking, but they both ignore it, until a different bystander boards the taxi and Caitlin couldn't be bothered that she's left without a ride.

"You...you knew." Barry stutters out, "How long?" Barry asks her and Caitlin shakes her head.

"Not long at all, you were too early and I was almost late."

"What does this mean?" Barry asks as he steps closer to her.

"It says smile doesn't it?" Caitlin asks him and Barry nods uncertainly and she sighs, "I just can't smile without you, Barry," she finally confesses to him, finally confesses it to herself.

Relief flooded Barry's eyes and he wraps her in his arms; they both cried, and laughed at the game they've played for came to a close. They finally stopped running, knowing that almost ten years later a love letter was answered.

And it was definitely worth the wait.

"Do you want to grab coffee with me, Dr. Snow?" Barry asks her handing back the letter he's given her so many years ago.

 _"Dear Caitlin,_

 _Seeing you pass me by makes my heartbeat flutter. My dream is to somehow catch up to you and walk on the same path you tread. I know being with you is akin to wishful thinking. Living in such close proximity and yet to you I remain invisible. Even a glance you have not spared me, and yet I hold no resentment. Love, could that be you to me? Over and over I ask myself if you're more than a crush? Vile and cruel though this world is, you make it better. Exist, just do that and you make me happy. Beautiful is just a word used to describe you. And it only means something when your name goes with it. Really, there's so many reasons for me to stop pinning after you. Right now though, all I want is for you to know who I am, that I exist to love just one person. You."_

The letter now had a post-script that Caitlin added, and somehow it's a note that would mean something to the right person, a note that sticks...

 _'P.S. Smile, love Barry'_

...And Caitlin finally, truly does.

 **Fin.**

 **AN:** I placed a lot of thought into this story and didn't include a lot of things. If you want to I can write a companion fic to this one in Barry's POV, or not. Review!

BTW can you guess how she figured it out? It's so easy I can't believe it took her almost 10 years!


End file.
